man confronts his brother’s murderer – murderer smirks – horrible – just really hard to watch.

This is the worst thing I have ever seen. 

I remember going through a couple of moments physically like this when my father died.  just not being able to fathom the idea of never seeing somebody again, but seeing them in the mind like the two of you were on some other planet of your own, and the veil of that thought is shred apart by the overwhelming reality of the fact you know you will never see them again.  your mind can’t stay in that dream moment, we reject the thing our brain can do because of our knowledge.  I can’t imagine dealing with a murder.  I broke so many things, other people’s things, car windows, house windows, random chaos, just want to strangle everybody but nobody to strangle.  this kind of thing is really hard to watch because i felt that way an my father was a multiple felon who drank himself and snorted himself to an early death at 64 years old.  looking at a person like the person who killed this man’s brother and having felt the way i felt over relatively natural causes of death given the life expectancy of an alcoholic, i would want to rip my own eyeballs out and throw them at the person.  there’s nothing possible to do.  it’s like black out uncontrollable.  i don’t even know what else to say other than this is hard to watch.


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